First of all, I am not a writer. I’m also neither a gentleman nor a scholar. That special time in a girl's life of learning proper English has been closed, nailed shut, and probably sloppily painted over. Like the saying goes; you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and I feel this is extremely true, even though I am a people.

Whoops, I just realized that I'm not being sincere to my website’s name and aesthetic right now, so HOWDY, PARDNER! My name is Carli, but I go by Carl online because it's mysterious and sexy. I’m an illustrator currently residing in the great Western Canadian Badlands with my dude and our three cats. I never used to be a cat person, but then I got infected with one of those weird feline mind control brain parasites and here we are - scooping endless turds and completely covered in hair that isn't my own.

I'm also a UFOlogist - having graduated at the top of my class at one of those secret nameless universities the government sends you to when you ask too many of the right questions yet seem unstable enough where they can tell you all sorts of crazy things because nobody is gonna believe you. My area of expertise are cattle mutilations, so if you have a cow with weird chunks cut outta it, please contact me so I can come over and poke around. This service is absolutely free, but tips are appreciated. Beef tips.

I made this website because I love talking about weird stuff, drawing silly little accompanying doodles, and trying to curb my incredibly small ADHD-addled attention span. I am also plum tuckered of having my online content controlled by untrustworthy sources and being a slave to tech giants. Remember when surfing the internet was fun and you/your data weren't a hot little commodity being passed around like a sweaty beanbag in gym class? Remember not being completely consumed by modern social media and the rise of easily obtainable dopamine? I remember, and I wish to return.