A Crisp New Chapter Full of Leafs
Christ is moving ever stressful. I thought that the sheer fact of migrating into our very own little house would negate the grueling toil of sorting my various belongings into boxes and bags, but I have gained 5 pounds from stress eating and grinded my teeth down into little nubs. Also, the entire apartment complex has a freaking carpet beetle infestation and I have been at war with various stages of larvae all week. I hate killing creatures, but they're horrible and invasive and apparently love the taste of cat hair. I guess it could be worse - I mean at least they're not BED BUGS or those weird crickets that emerge for a week in the early summer and immediately drown themselves in my toilet. Uhg.
I'm trying to be kind to myself throughout this and constantly remind my brain that I'm dealing with a LOT on my plate and it's only temporary. By this time next week, 90% of this bullshit will likely be over. I wish my body wasn't wired to shut down in situations like these, and when I say shut down, I mean it in every literal sense. I scared the absolute shit out of my boyfriend (and myself) a few days ago while I was cleaning the stovetop and discovered a “mysterious switch” that turned out to be the friggin’ oven light (that I have used at LEAST a couple thousand times these past fifteen years) and once my brain remembered that, god I felt stupid.
Curse these cruel undulating waves of shame washing over me at unpredictable intervals like the tides from a chaotic moon in an unstable orbit. My overall status feels akin to that of a bloated whale beaching themself onto the rocky shoreline. The locals are shoving dynamite up my rotting orifices and I am about to explode and crush nearby vehicles full of onlookers with huge chunks of my fetid blubber.
Okay, that's dramatic, and also a funny mental image!
So, let's talk about the good stuff!
I am so, SO EXCITED to have an actual laundry room. Owning my own appliances feels like the most luxurious of luxuries after fighting 40+ people over the two washers and dryers downstairs this past decade and a half. Never having to clean the lint traps of countless strangers before me? Absolutely a score! I'm also thrilled that there'll be no more checking my front door every morning for 24 hour entry notices from management needing access to my apartment for whatever reason. Half the time they'd never even show up and my entire day would be ruined by having to wait around for them and wear pants in the process. I hate strangers in my space, but I've also been stealthily harboring a secret third cat these last two years which is definitely a lease violation. I didn't plan on an extra cat, but Randall turned out to be a very special boy and *MY* best BFF forever. I've never had an animal adore me like he does, and the feeling is extremely mutual!
We also have a heated garage with a small shop in the back that I'm hoping to have set up and ready to go sometime this summer. My dad has decided to part with a few of his misc collections of hobbies he always intended to indulge sometime in the future but never came to fruition for a bunch of reasons. I'm not entirely sure what he's giving me, but I know it's some lapidary and silversmith equipment and also a bunch of stained glass he collected from purchasing the contents of a hoarder house a while back. It's been years since I've worked in either medium, but I'm excited for the chance to do something physically creative again - fine motor skills willing! Maybe I can sell my wares at the farmer's market next to the various MLM booths that are slowly choking out the humble integrity of such a space. Maybe I can get in cahoots with the hutterites and that one old guy who makes cookies to overthrow the Scentsy ladies and Pampered Chefs once and for all.
Anyway, now that I have thoroughly blogged out my anxieties, it's time to return to my piles of accumulated shit! See you in a while from hopefully a better place!